Thursday, March 20, 2008

My backyard

After living in an apartment complex for over 6 years, I'm maybe a little too delighted to have a back yard.

This is like living in a real house. I have a back yard, front yard AND a garage and a driveway leading to the garage.

Yesterday, my next-door neighbor and I were watching the comings and goings of our across-the-street neighbors and making comments as to what it all might mean, when I attained enlightenment: I live in a neighborhood.

I'm part of a community.

I didn't really feel that way in the apartments; apartments have so much turnover.

With the one glaring exception of Samson's friend, Jan, we never made any good, solid connections within our apartment complex despite living there for so long.

We have some unbearable neighbors, some sloppy neighbors and a cute mysterious neighbor on the corner.

I'm glad we're here.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

I feel Glorious

A new friend was kind enough to get me a week-long membership to her gym.
This is one of those bright, airy new gyms. Every female-friendly amenity is avaliable except massages, dammit.
Child care, most wonderful amenity of all, allows this weary mama to bid Bye-bye to her children, and take care of herself for a while.

I spent 40 minutes on the treadmill, reading my trashy novel which unfortunatly is too bulky for the little magazine holders on the treadmill screen, but I wanted to look intellingent, you know, reading a book and all, so I pressed forward.
Then,I sat in a huge hot tub for a while, still reading my trashy novel, then I swam a few laps in the perfect-temprature pool. I left the trashy novel on the edge of the pool.
My body feels so good, I feel so relaxed.
Tomorrow I'm going to a yoga class. Does it get any better? What next? Will I be allowed a few minutes in the opium den afterwards?
I want to spend the rest of my life at this gym. I want my world to revolve around the treadmill, hot tubs and yoga class.
I hesitate to get myself a membership because A.) I don't have an income and B.) If I do get a job, will I even have time to use the gym?
That's the practical part of me, always looking at the what ifs and why nots.
The impractical part of me says, 'get a membership, you'll use it because you love this place.

Who will win?

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

Need Some Help?

Backing my mini-van into our snow and ice covered gravel driveway is a mundane daily activity.

Today I got stuck. In my own driveway. Not watching where I was going, I bumped into some junk piled alongside the driveway. Trying to go forward and maneuver around the junk, my tires spun and spun on the still unmelted ice.

Grumpily getting the kids out of the van, my first thought after, FUCK!, was to go over and ask my neighbor if she had a tow rope.

I immediately wanted to ask for help.

My youngest sister Samantha takes pride in doing everything herself. She hates asking for help and does so with numerous apologies and plenty of guilt. Samantha moved most of her furniture into her house in Kemmerer by herself.

I considered Samantha and her aversion to asking for help, went back outside, moved the junk, backed the van up and over the icy spot, thus avoiding any humiliation or groveling.

Do I ask for help to often? Did I get so used to asking for help that I just automatically assume I can't do anything by myself?

Do those you ask for help think you are a clumsy idiot?

Don't you hate it when you offer to help someone and they refuse even though they obviously need it?

Are you/am I helpless, helpful, neither or both?

Do you hate asking for help?
Do you do it even though you don't want to?
How far do you have to be pushed before you will ask for help?

Is it better to give or give others a chance to give?