Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Kiss My Bumper

I have one bumper sticker on my car.
Just One. It's white (the color of my car) and has two words written in green:
Humboldt County.
Now if you know what Humboldt County is famous for, then you'll understand why I'm driving so slowly.
Some bumper stickers crack me up, like: "Republicans for Voldemort." Hilarious, under-stated, I love it.
As you can see, I am pro-bumper sticker, up to a certain point, but when your car is covered with obnoxious stickers advertising your sexual preference and your ignorance, beware.
I know you think you're cute, but let me asure you, . . . you are not.
My second least favorite bumper sticker sags on a tiny powder-blue car of early 90's ancestry. It is often parked in front of the Blockbuster Video next to my local Safeway.
The offending sticker says: "ACLU: We don't hate all religions/ just Christianity."
OK, you are a moron. An uneducated, narrow-minded moron.
Clearly you are Christian, and clearly you think the ACLU is picking on your faith.
Earth to moron: You aren't doing your religion or yourself any favors with that bumper sticker. Rather, you are reinforcing the stereotype of the paranoid, Bible-thumping, fundamentalist who is about as truly 'Christian' as Santa Claus.
This brings us to my most hated bumper sticker.
This one occupys the quickly vanishing empty space on the trunk of black a wannabe -but can't afford the real thing- VW Jetta. This car offends in the parking lot of my apartment complex and I see it several times each day.
This car is covered with bumper stickers expressing a certain colorful lifestyle and voting choices in direct conflict with our ACLU-loving friend from above.
While many of the stickers are just eye-rollers, the one I hate most reads: "Stupid people shouldn't breed."
Oh, Really? "Like you?"


At 10:24 PM, Blogger Cityslicker Mom said...

Hey woman, I tagged you.


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