Monday, April 03, 2006

Through Good Times & Bad

This is me and my friend, Flower. I've known this girl for years. I stayed with her for a week after I left my husband. She's one of those friends you can always count on.

I'm brand new to the blog scene, I feel really insecure about my blog so far.
My first entry sucked, because I was trying too hard.
So today I'll just let it go.

My marriage.
I feel really stupid sometimes for actually marrying my husband. There were red flags from the start and I got many friendly warnings from the people around me. But, I married him anyway.
He's charming and sexy, a hard-worker, and sometimes unintentionally hilarious.
However, over the past 4 plus years, his bad traits have far surpassed the good ones.
A middle-aged, divorced friend of mine gave me a self-help book entitled "Women Who Love Too Much"
At first, I scoffed. "I don't need this, this book has nothing to do with ME."
Then I started reading it and I was shocked, shocked, at how accurately that book described me and my none-to-healthy relationship.

It was so hard, but I left him. It's been about a month and a half since I changed the locks and didn't tell him about it.
The good news is that I'm starting to see some positive changes on both his part and mine.
The bad news always follows the good so here it is: Slipping back into old patterns is still much too easy. Old fights are only one dirty look from exploding.

He is, however, making a consious effort to work on some of his problems. I consider this a minor, no, no minor about it; it's a miracle.

It's so hard to make real changes, I can totally understand why people keep putting up with bad relationships for years and years. Change can be too hard and too scary.

It's so damn hard.

But if this works out, it will have been so worth it.


At 6:23 PM, Blogger Cityslicker Mom said...

i'm sooo glad you decided to do a blog! don't feel insecure. it's looking good so far!


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